EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
Noon - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
Noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - Uh OH - Bath - Bummer
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture or taking a shit where they can't find it. I love watching them look for it.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.
The bastards only reacted by laughing; I must try this again at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair... I may have better luck on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little "cat" I was. I'm not sure what "cat"
means, but I will not let them brainwash me.
Hmmm. This is not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo."
What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,
I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer."
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The "dog" is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The "bird" on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain
he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, though, his safety is assured.
But I can wait - it is only a matter of time..