Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma tobe an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him in a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
You might be an engineer if:
· Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is a problem.
· You take a cruise, so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
· In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
· The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
· At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
· For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a PalmPilot.
· You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
· You can type 70 words per minute, but you can't read your own handwriting.
· You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
· You sit backwards on Disney rides, so you can see how they do the special effects.
· You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
· You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
· You know what http:// stands for.
· You look forward to Christmas, so you can put together the kid's toys.
· You see a good design, and have to change it.
· You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
· You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
· You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
· You window shop at Radio Shack.
· Your laptop computer cost more than your car.
· Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
· You've already calculated how much you make per second.
· You've tried to repair a $5 radio.